The last pair of pants

These are (this is?!?) my last pair of pants. Not because I can’t afford new ones. And not because the stores are all closed today. These are my last pair of pants because I refuse to buy any more. You see, my diet of late consists solely of EWTHIW (eating whatever the hell i want). This results in a metabolic phenomenon known as FAT, but only when properly combined with a sedentary lifestyle. It’s quite the accomplishment. I have managed to gain back almost all of the 30 pounds i lost last year.

Back to the pants, ‘cause that’s what’s really important here. I refuse to buy THAT size; you know – THAT size – the one you thought of back in your 20s as the “if i ever get THAT fat then life as i know it will basically be over”. Well here i am. I refuse to buy THAT size. I refuse to admit that life as i know it has to be over. Now comes the hard part. Where does one go to purchase a new waistline? No, I don’t mean which gym do i join. I don’t mean what sort of organic crap do i get from Whole Paycheck. I want to know where i can buy a new waistline. I’m employed. I even have a savings account. People of my means shouldn’t have to bother with the menial task of actually exerting oneself or, god forbid, reducing caloric intake. How gauche…

So here I sit, pondering whether i can actually fit into that last pair of pants. And hoping you good people can point me in the direction of the fairy dust of magic spell that will allow me to wear anything but THAT pair of pants.


new years revolutions

Once again we are faced with the onslaught of media driven drivel about what we should be resolute about changing or starting or stopping in our daily lives. I for one am tired of being told how to live.
However, there are things which require maintenance and upkeep on a semi-regular basis. Since I have a desire to stay on the planet for a few more years I instituted a diet and exercise regimen a few months ago to stave of diabetes.
This week I started posting the “in your face” political smatterings on my tweeter account (don’t correct me; this is my blog!). On 2facedbook I have a habit of tweeking my friends of the opposing political persuasion by lambasting them with my opinion or ‘sharing’ a political hatchet article just to piss off those with whom i disagree. Well i must be getting soft in my old age, or maybe just tired of the fight – the constant BS eschewed by both sides. Either way, the F-book will be reserved mostly for pictures, sentiment, and well wishes, along with a little of whats up in my life. The tweeters should beware; this is my new war zone.

imageAs for revolutions, and the twist on words in the title, i prefer revolution over resolution. My resolute usually dissolves within weeks; hence, REVOLUTION! The violent overthrow of the current mindset, as witnessed by the dribble above, and this…
A few days ago i started taking, processing, and posting a photo a day. I intend on continuing this in the new year as a 365 project. My goal is to post to my photo-blog
on a daily basis with links sent to 2facebook and g+ and tweeter.

Vive la revolution! and Happy New Year

Flip Flop Shuffle

Of all the things that bother me, and the list can be long at times, the sound of flip flops slapping away makes me want to scream!

Now mind you, I am in to the laid back scene on occasion and in the right arena. BUT when I am at work on the bosses dime and all around me people are bustling to beat the band…..
The last thing I expect to hear is the incessant banter of feet slapping flip and ground slapping flop over and over and over and over and over

Sorry. The cadence got caught in a loop

This is a professional office. Yes there are jokes, and the occasional wearing of jeans, and of course I must keep in mind that health accommodations must be made. And in ‘sunny California’ one should expect a loose interpretation of the dress code from all the surfer dudes.

And yet here we are in the wet season – with flip flops!!! And don’t get me started on the hygiene aspect. Nasty. Don’t get me wrong though; a nice pair of sandals worn by the fairer sex is fine. The sandals at least pretend to be shoes.
Flip flops are a throwback to the destitute attempting a modicum of podiatric protection…not acceptable office attire.

Just for the record: this rant comes after months of being water boarded by the same individual doing the Librium UGG shuffle from copier to microwave to desk to bosses office to water dispenser to…..

I’m being hounded by footwear UGG shuffle has a twin too!

If the twin comes in wearing flip flops in the near future I think I’m gonna scream…again